Johnny Cash Attacked By Ostrich While Chimps Have Oral Sex?

Hey-ohhh Fellow Bloggists,

It's Saturday and you know what that means. Time to recap the week and share "What We Lurned". This week involves some riveting stories that both involve wild animals from Africa so let's get to it.

The first thing I learned this week is that, although I thought I knew all about Johnny "The Man In Black" Cash,  I somehow missed this strange story that found him lying on the side of a dirt road, gutted like a salmon in the paws of a Grizzly bear.

The story goes thus; In 1983, Johnny was staying at a ranch in Tennessee where he kept various unique animals for a petting zoo. The ranch also contained an ostrich with a seemingly bad temper. As Cash walked down the road, the ostrich stood in his way, blocking his path.

The country crooner picked up a stick to poke the ostrich and shoo him away but the ostrich had other plans. Spreading its wings, it kicked Cash, striking him in the abdomen with its six inch middle claw, which opened him up like a can of sardines. The only thing that kept him from being completely gutted was his belt buckle which stopped the ostrich's talon from going any lower. The belt literally kept his innards from spilling out onto the road until help could arrive. Upon interview, the ostrich's only comment was, "I saw nothing!"

The story doesn't end there. Cash who had gotten himself clean and sober after a career filled with so many drugs, he made Elvis look like a rank amateur, needed pain pills to recover from his ghastly injury. Once again, because of this ostrich, Cash became addicted to pain meds and found himself fighting the fight that had taken him so long to win in the first place. It was not any easier to overcome the second time around.

Rumor says that the same year at the Cash family Thanksgiving, the main course was something other than turkey.

The second thing I lurned this week is that Bonobo Chimpanzees are the only other primate besides humans that engage in oral sex. Not only do the horny little chimps engage in sex simply for pleasure, the females also engage in acts of lesbianism.

After hearing this fact, televangelist Pat Robertson railed, "If there is a monkey hell, these little perverts will surely burn in God's righteous flames!"

A spokesperson for the chimps was quoted as saying, "Pat Robertson can suck it!"

So there you go. Two things I lurned this week, which proves that if you keep your eyes open, there's no telling what great facts you can lurn that will change your life for the better.

Have a GF weekend and be sure to act like a Bonobo Chimpanzee if you get the chance.